We arrived at Pizza Hut restaurant to find it half-full. As we were a party of 3, we requested a table for 3, which unfortunately seemed to leave the waiter flummoxed somewhat. Warning us of a possible wait in order to be seated, he went on an amble about the room, looking for a table for us; what would, of course, have sped up our time in limbo next to the door would have been to put a couple of the tables laid for two together. Though the waiter (who sported some rather illustrious wrist piercings- surely unhygienic, and enough to put one off one's stuffed crust?) eventually did this, he neglected to provide sufficient cutlery, such that a member of my party was obliged to forage for it from a nearby table, and evidently decided that another in our party was not deserving of a menu either. Furthermore, the heavy glass door was left wedged open for a large amount of our time in the restaurant, with an unending, biting draught chilling us as we waited for more service.
By the time we the waiter re-appeared, we had had plenty of time to select our meals, review the colour scheme of the menu and formulate various ideas as to the possible presentational options open to the multitude of dishes on offer. When we requested a 'Truly Tropical' fruit smoothie, we were told that 'The blender might not be working.' and that we should 'just assume that it is', which is certainly the best way to go about instilling confidence about one's knowledgeability in one's clients. Luckily, the rest of our order was taken without incident, minus the man seemingly feeling that we were incapable of remembering what we had requested and so deciding to read the complete order to us twice over. Then, with a flourish of the notepad, he was off, though not before informing us that the drinks would be 10 minutes. Now, I am no expert on the pouring and serving of ice-cold Pepsi, but I find it extremely difficult to believe that it requires a whole 10th of an hour to craft a glassful from scratch.
As we sat, and pondered the fate of our drinks, which by this point had been all but forgotten, the waiter finally was seen running across the length of the establishment with a large plastic tumbler full of ice and fruit juices. Two minutes late he was back, apologetically, telling us of how our food would not be much longer, but that there was a shortage of staff in the restaurant. It remains to be seen whether a few ancillary employees stood around gossiping constitute a 'staffing shortage'.
Finally, after a further 20 minute wait, in which we were given more than ample time to finish our drinks, the waiter returned. Apparently, a shelf in the kitchen that had evidently been the only thing guarding our congealing food had 'fallen', and our entire order had fallen along with it. Back to square 1. Thankfully, the drinks were removed from the bill.
It took another 7 or 8 minutes for our food to finally arrive; first, the individual pizza with 5 toppings. One could have proposed that, rather than a staffing shortage, there was a mushroom shortage that night in Wakefield. I understand an individual pizza is designed for consumption by an individual, but I also understand most individuals are of the sort who are able to consume more than a single button mushroom and 3 kernels of sweetcorn. At least the pizza itself was overflowing with grease, so as to distract from its general shabbiness.
5 minutes later, the two pasta dishes arrived- a fusilli alla arrabiata with prawns and crayfish tails, and a spaghetti carbonara. Having eaten various pasta dishes with arrabiata sauce, I can honestly confirm that this particular one was the worst. Greasy, cold and boring, it lay on the plate like a particularly disheveled weed requesting euthanasia. Moreover, call me a philistine, but I never realised crayfish tastes of Persil. Not having tasted the carbonara, I cannot vouch for the deliciousness, or lack thereof, of that particular dish. It was related to me, though, the way in which the cheese sauce benefited greatly from its watery and insipid flavour and consistency.
Apart from the general overriding sense of nausea brought about by the free flowing fats upon the plates, our evening sojourn was not at all ruined by the above debacle.
0 comments