I wont bore you with the history and events that led me to the particular impasse I am about to discuss. Lets just cut straight to the chase. I have been and remain a Heroine, methadone, opiate addict for the last eight years.
I'm not looking for any ones sympathy but by the same token don't really give much of a shit over the inevitable moral judgment most users are more than acquainted with.
However, I do feel bound to state that I have Always held down a job and have never financed my habit through any form of crime. For the benefit of the pedantic out there, I know the acquisition and possession of illegal drugs isn't fondly indulged by the local constabulary, bless um all.
within the last few weeks, I found myself at a point where the prospect of death seemed a far finner and sunnier option than the life I was reluctantly dragging my sorry ass through.
Some talk about a moment of clarity, others Epiphany. For me the reality of my situation came like a well delivered kick to the scrotum, by some one wearing winkle-pickers. If I didn't get help and soon I would most likely top myself.
There followed a weekend of frenetic Internet searches and desperate phone calls. what I sort was in-patient residential opiate detox. the majority off the more responsible clinics and centres, when fully appraised of the size and duration of my habit, would not consider a stay of less than six weeks, some a month and one a fortnight, albeit with many a caveat.
That is until my mouse alighted upon The Promis Recovery Centre, run and owned by Dr Robert Lefever. The councillor I initially spoke to, reassured me that after taking the advice of the in house quack, that they could do the job in one week. All they needed from me - 4, 420! lots of pressure to transfer the funds nice and pronto into there account. No point in delaying my recovery further!
Lefever himself is a strange and unsettling presence, who's eccentricity and enormous ego are obviously an enormous comfort to him. if external appearance is any indication of internal exeptence, his incredible comb-over, can only deepen ones reservations.
In one particularly distressing meeting I requested with his eminence, to discuss my ineffectual and disjointed withdrawal programme, I was ushered into his inner sanctum (Marie antoinette meets Poll Pot in terms of decor). Lefever already had his jacket and scarf on, letting me know in no uncertain terms that his time was a commodity for which I held little currency. He sat in an elevated position and eyed me in the same manner as someone who'd discovered a turd that by quirk of evolution, had acquired the gift of speech.
His opening line to me, was "I didn't belong there", delivered in the breezy tones of the morally unassailable. This assumption turned out to be based on the fact i'd only paid for and committed to one week. Which he saw as evidence of halfheartedness and lack of commitment. The fact that I had just about cleared out my Dads savings account - a retired brickie by the way - to pay for the week, had never entered his assessment. The assumption being if you can afford a week, Hey! then why not sixteen of them.
This might go someways towards illustrating Lefevers removal from the rest of us earthlings.
In fairness most of the nursing staff were fantastic and empathetic individuals. Doing a difficult job to the best of there abilities. My fellow patients were also some of the most inspiring individuals i'v ever met.
In the five minutes prior to me leaving, suitcase in the car, train at the station. I was given the option of three more days to continue my detox. This to me was the smile on the face of the corpse. The shellac on the turd. I'd barley have made it with the option of another fortnight.
So here I find myself, back in the principality as hopelessly dependent as ever I was. My Dads account lighter by 4, 420 and Lefevers up by a roughly similar amount. An extra medievil manuscript to his collection perhaps?
Anyone in a similar position, please, don't make the same mistake. You cant undo eight years of damage in seven days, no matter how convincing the promis!
Richard
port talbot
United Kingdom
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